Thursday, October 17, 2019
Giant Conecuh Sausage in a bikini crowned 2019 Miss Alabama.
In a surprise underdog victory, a giant pack of Conecuh Sausage wearing a bikini top took the top honor of Miss Alabama for 2019. Hundreds of women across the state competed for the title, and most suspected Gloria Ramirez from Cullman would take the win, but when the ballots were gathered the crowd was stunned as Conecuh Sausage won in a landslide victory.
For the first time in Alabama history, the Miss Alabama title was not given to a female human, but instead a pork product. Some even suggest the entire stunt was a metaphor for how beauty pageants are making a spectacle of women's bodies, displaying them like a meat product on a shelf. The Conecuh Sausage company would not comment when not asked.
With the surprising win for the delicious sausage, other states are hoping to have their own local products win the state title. Louisiana have introduced "Big Ass Pot of Gumbo" into the running of their state contest, and Florida's competition is so far between a young woman and an alligator on Meth.
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