Armadillos found to be not animals, but native plants that grow on asphalt.

After decades of finding the splattered animal known as the Armadillo scattered across roadways of the south, scientists have discovered that the species actually belongs to the plant family, a startling revelation. People have often pondered how there seems to be so many dead armadillos, but no live ones, but have looked no further. Often, some people think they see a live Armadillo, but what is really an armadillo plant that has broken loose from the asphalt and got carried off by the wind, a Tumbleweed of sorts.

The Armadillo plant grows via photosynthesis and enjoys the hard packed density of asphalt. Its roots are almost invisible, but very mighty as they penetrate through our roadways. We've established that the plant is in the same family as the Durian Fruit, known for is rancid stench when broken open. The Armadillo plant can be quite dreadful smelling once smashed, but some enjoy the flavor in a Gumbo.