Bay Minette economy plunges after table breaks at Shrimp Basket

 

Crisis erupted Wednesday morning in Bay Minette, Alabama, when one of the tables in the facility broke a leg, rendering the table completely useless. Employees scrambled to fix the leg using old broom and mop handles, but nothing seemed to alleviate their problem. As the townspeople wandered in this morning, some were turned away due to lack of seating. Expecting a warm chair and vittles and not receiving these things, folks were left scratching their heads in confusion.

The primary problem with the situation is that 50% of the Bay Minette economy comes from transactions at Shrimp Basket. With one table short, the town is expecting to lose at least 10% of it's economy immediately. Local leaders have called an emergency meeting at the local watering hole, which is literally a watering hole in a field outside the city limits, to hopefully solve this crisis. One councilman has suggested using a borrowed table from his own collection for the time being, but the townspeople are against the mid-century modern design of this table, stating that it's a century ahead of Bay Minette, and time travel is "of the devil". TFI will be standing by with more breaking news.