Julialake's upcoming "Clubhouse" event to feature sewing workshop, local wine, and Necromancy.

 

Up and coming Fairhoper Julialake Graham has made a big name for herself with her booming "Clubhouse" events, featuring lavish decor, trendy crafts, and divine food spreads, but coming up next month the debutantes of Baldwin County will sip local wine flights while being trained in the dark art of Necromancy (the Black Magic dealing with raising the dead) taught by local Necromancer Leroy Barnes of Montrose. Barnes has a Masters degree from USA in Necromancy and also accounting and spends his time helping community members summon sub-human zombies to do chores, haunt enemies, or maybe to just listen to their feelings about stuff. Leroy also does taxes. 

At the May edition of Julialake's Clubhouse event, you can expect a crash course on sewing, a smart assortment of Hors d'oeuvres by Hope Farm, Style tips from Elizabeth Damrich, a wine tasting by Southern Grove Winery, and of course a ceremonial summoning of an army of the undead. Yes, the highlight of the night will have the women and Leroy, among the candlelit decor, chant sacred spells to bring hostile spirits in limbo to a fleshy state, and at some point after all take part in a painting workshop where people and zombies pair up and paint portrait of each other like the viral Tik Tok trend. 

The event is already nearing capacity as many are hoping to summon a local celebrity or Fairhope founder. Who will arrive? Thomas Greeno? Marietta Johnson?  Archibald Oneeightyone? We can't know for sure but some locals are already complaining about the surge in population that is set to occur after this. The issue of housing for the zombies has been brought up at a recent City Council meeting and right now the only viable option is the Mosher Castle and surrounding Air BnBs, which not only solves the problem but could even add some mystique to the vacation rentals. 

 

Crowd always outside of Tamara's found to not actually be eating, just trying to look really cool.

The hottest social club in Downtown Fairhope isn't The Monkey Bar or even playing Mahjong at Provision for high stakes (Husbands or Handbags), it's standing outside of Tamara's downtown looking cool. The trendiest couples are spending their free time standing outside of the restaurant looking mildly agitated in their nicest outfits for a while, then going home to eat instant Ramen and binge Netflix. It has started to become quite a thing in Fairhope. People are even bringing chess boards although they are really playing checkers just using the chess pieces. It's easier this way but people still think you're smart. Tamara's is planning to cash in on this new trend by providing tables, drinks, and food to the loiterers for a fee.

City of Fairhope plans to recreate the Marietta Johnson statue with pure chocolate for Easter, letting everyone just go nuts on her.

 The City of Fairhope in conjunction with Fairhope Chocolate will commemorate Marietta Johnson, the inventor of Doritos, with a custom recreation of the current statue made of 100% Organic chocolate. They will unveil the statues downtown on Easter Sunday and let the public just freaking go crazy with no abandon, devouring the 3 statues how they see fit. Parents are encouraged to just drop off their kids downtown and let them graze like a deer to a salt lick for the afternoon. 

McSharry's Pub to offer "Irish lunch" this weekend to compete with Redeemer Lutheran's German meals.

 

For many years, Redeemer Lutheran Church has offered German sausage meals during the Arts & Crafts Festival weekend to tourists and locals alike who need a break from funnel cakes and corn dogs 3 meals a day. This year, however, McSharry's Irish Pub will compete with Redeemer with their special "Irish Lunch", consisting of Irish Coffee, Jameson's Whiskey, and a pint of Guinness all for $12. 

The idea was funded by St. Lawrence Catholic Church, which unfortunately resides right beside the Lutheran Church. This has led to some hostility over the years as the Lutherans make it a point each year to pin the 95 Theses on St. Lawrence's front door. 

Not to be outdone, Fairhope Hemp has also jumped on board for the Arts & Crafts weekend, selling a lunch special each day consisting of a cannabis gummy, a bag of organic white cheddar Cheeto's, and a guest spot playing the Djembe for the next Ramblin' Roses gig. This has sparked much controversy in Fairhope since the announcement. Many say a Djembe style drum has no place in a band who tries to emulate a traditional Grateful Dead sound, and there has been such an uproar in the community that a special City Council meeting will arise to discuss the issue. 

Mahjong Mayhem: All-Out War Erupts in Fairhope as Rival Clubs Clash Over Provision Wednesday Slot

 

Fairhope, AL – The once-tranquil streets of Fairhope have become an unexpected battleground as four local Mahjong clubs—Mahjong By the Bay, Point Clear Mahjong, Mahjong Collective, and the notorious Montrose Mahjong Posse—descended into full-blown war, marking the bloodiest conflict the city has seen since that heated debate over whether King Cake should include Cream Cheese. 

It all started over a simple scheduling dispute at Provision coffee shop and Instagram content mining facility,  where the coveted Wednesday morning slot had traditionally belonged to Mahjong By the Bay. However, after a highly controversial game last week, during which Linda Pritchard from Point Clear Mahjong allegedly accused Mahjong By the Bay’s president, Kaileigh Haileigh lee Wilson, of “strategic tile-hoarding,” tensions soared. Someone then fashioned what appeared to be a homemade Molotov cocktail out of a bottle of unsweet tea. 

By Thursday morning, Fairhope had split into four distinct territories, each controlled by one of the Mahjong factions. The Montrose Mahjong Posse, known for their aggressive playing style and an iron grip on the area’s casserole market, swiftly blockaded the Hermit Hut. 

Mahjong Collective—an upstart group of younger retirees who describe themselves as “progressive but traditionalist” (whatever that means)—set up a fortified position in front of Page & Palette, using hardcover copies of Forrest Gump as makeshift shields.

Meanwhile, Point Clear Mahjong had aligned with the H&M Golf Carts, weaponizing passive-aggressive glances and strategically placed speed bumps to disrupt enemy supply lines.

The Fairhope City Council quickly called an emergency meeting, though no one was able to agree on a course of action because someone kept bringing up last year’s Christmas parade disaster. Mayor Sullivan attempted to broker peace by offering a space at Refuge Coffee, but all factions rejected it as “completely absurd”. 

Tensions escalated further when Mahjong By the Bay captured and detained two members of the Montrose Mahjong Posse, holding them hostage in the Winn-Dixie produce section. Demands for their release included an apology, a bottle of Merlot, and a pound of chicken salad from Allegri Farm Market.

As of Monday morning, the conflict remains at a stalemate, though reports indicate that a secret "Mahjong ceasefire summit" may be in the works at an undisclosed location (widely believed to be the back room at Red or White).

Until then, residents of Fairhope are urged to stay indoors, and avoid any suspicious-looking groups of well-dressed women with tote bags.

This is an ongoing story. More updates as they come.

Christmas Around the Corner now offering Pole Dancing with "The South Pole" in business expansion.

Long Time downtown staple Christmas Around the Corner is expanding its business to now offer pole dancing classes for all skill levels. They are following the lead of other downtown merchants pursuing similar endeavors this year. For instance, bookstore Page & Pallete just opened a yoga studio, Plot Twist, while across the street Fairhope Spice & Tea Exchange began "Chai Tea and Tai Chi" events. In a contrarian move, Julianna the Street Dancer announced she will be offering classes for just sitting still. 

Christmas Around the Corner would like guests to be open-minded about the new offering, as many attribute Pole Dancing to Gentlemen's Clubs, and they would like to educate the public how Pole Dancing actually originated as the native dance of Poland, and is still very ceremonial there. 

 

Activist group "Dads of Tyranny" looking to overthrow library board, replace all books with Jimmy Buffett records.

 

A growing online activist group Dad's of Tyranny has started a petition to force the resignation of the Fairhope Public Library board, and all of it's workers immediately. They also call for the removal of all books within replacing them with the entire Jimmy Buffett music catalog available for checking out anytime to members. Since the records will not take up all that much space they propose the Library have a margarita bar installed as well as a restaurant with a nautical theme serving once-fresh seafood. The group has no real ideology on their website, but some believe they perhaps just want to go to the Jimmy Buffet themed restaurant chain Margaritaville. The group states that if their demands are not met, they would also settle for a cool calendar with old sports cars.